Something i read on SQS878

read this in Chinese version but think it makes a lot of sense to those who are in. a relationship or was in a relationship before so I decided to post a translated summarize version here in blog space.

只要等到爱情完全消失后，你才会了解到，快乐不能被前伴侣牵引着。

some. couples in a relationship will prefer not to meet after the relationship ended, there are however some who prefer to stay in touch, hoping to find out more about the other party whereabouts
and to find out how he of she is getting on with life. why? might not really be care n concern in my opinion but rather they wanted to know if the other party is in a depressed state as a result of the failed relationship. quite amazingly, some will feel "happier" if he or she is depressed because this will mean the r/s is a worthy one. on the other hand, if he/she is living happily or is in another r/s right away, this might mean everything that was done together may not be worthy at all.

since already separated, does it really matter how each other feels ? shd everyone use or measure the success of a relationship by each other feelings after the breakup? then how do we measure those that didn't end? is marriage and kids a good yardstick?

maybe the default sad one is the one that is being informed of the breakup n the one who wanted to break is the one who should get over easier. people who initiated the breakup n trying to find out how the ex is doing probably is just trying to make himself feel better.

sounds like loving and being loved is still for oneself. selfless love probably only exists in fairy tales. not everyone can get over so easily n maybe, maybe the best way to get over quickly is to find another one that comes along. borrowing another person to forget this person isn't the best solution. this is like digging a hole to bury another hole.

要彻底忘记对方可能要等爱情完全消失后，那时的你就能真正了解到自己的快乐不能被前伴侣牵引着。 如果只有想着前伴侣才能让你心情好一些， 那你的生活的重心到底在哪里？ 于其关心已与你没有关系的人， 那倒不如多花心思在别的事情上海。

for those who has fallen out of love and still trying to get out of it.